Ebony’s story is one of perseverance, strength, and hope. Despite facing challenges with her weight from a young age and experiencing hurtful judgments, she focused on her daughters and found ways to build her confidence and self-worth.

Her journey highlights the complexity of obesity, which is influenced by genetics, environment, and emotional health. The medical term “obese” refers to having a body mass index (BMI) score of 30 or higher, a measure of height and weight that doesn’t necessarily equate with health. Ebony inspires others to rise above weight bias and embrace their values by building resilience.

Ebony’s Journey: A Lifetime of Challenges

“I always had a weight problem ever since I was in elementary school,” Ebony recalled. By middle school, her weight had risen significantly, and by high school, she weighed 450 pounds. Those numbers, however, tell only part of her story. For Ebony, her weight became the focus of judgment, often overshadowing her other qualities.

The stigma she faced wasn’t just from strangers. “My own husband told me that I would always be fat, ugly, and unhappy,” she shared. These words could have deeply affected her, but Ebony was encouraged by her two daughters. “My kids motivated me to do better,” she says. They inspired her to rise above negativity and take control of her life.

Understanding the Many Factors That Contribute to Body Weight

Having a higher body weight is sometimes seen as a personal issue, but it’s much more complex than that. Genetics and metabolism influence how your body stores and uses energy. Health conditions such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), stress, and even certain medications (such as birth control pills and antidepressants) can lead to weight gain. Poor sleep quality also makes managing weight harder. Personal habits, emotional health, and your surroundings — like your neighborhood, school, or workplace — play a role too. On top of that, food industry practices, advertising, and cultural norms shape eating habits.

Understanding these determinants (factors) is crucial for enhancing quality of life for people living with obesity. This condition is often misunderstood, and attributing increased body weight solely to personal choices overlooks evidence-based research and the involvement of contributing factors.

Read on to learn about six strategies for meeting common challenges — three that help build emotional resilience and three for overcoming obesity bias.

Building Emotional Resilience

Resilience is the ability to bounce back and find happiness or success after facing something difficult. For people who have a higher weight, resilience plays an important role in managing stress, navigating challenges, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. But how can you build emotional resilience?

A 2024 study found an interesting link between resilience and body weight. The study showed that people with higher resilience were more likely to have a higher BMI, whereas lower resilience was associated with being underweight. This connection suggests that resilience might help individuals handle stress better and adopt healthier habits. Cultural factors, such as enjoying food as part of social traditions, could also influence this relationship.

Improving resilience is a skill that can be nurtured over time. For example, Ebony developed resilience through hard work and determination. She didn’t let hurtful comments or difficult circumstances stop her from gaining confidence. The following strategies helped her and may benefit others.

1. Practice Self-Compassion

Negative self-talk can block progress. Ebony made a habit of looking in the mirror and affirming herself: “I am me, and I’m not going to let people define who I am.” This daily practice made a big difference in helping her feel stronger and more confident.

A 2021 study found that self-compassion — being kind to yourself in difficult times — might support weight management. People who took part in self-compassion programs developed healthier eating habits and engaged in more physical activity, and some lost weight. Many of these improvements lasted over time, although increased physical activity was harder to maintain. This suggests that practicing self-compassion and self-care could play an important role in helping higher-weight people.

2. Seek Support From Therapy

Therapy provides a safe space to process emotions and develop coping skills. Talking with a counselor can help you handle the emotional impact of stigma, including weight bias, and strengthen your mental health. By addressing weight-related challenges, therapy can boost self-esteem, body image, and overall well-being. Seeking help from providers can make a significant difference in your life.

3. Build Supportive Relationships

Ebony’s daughters are her biggest supporters. Surrounding yourself with people who uplift and encourage you can make challenges easier to face. Being supported by trusted friends, family, or health professionals and building connections can help improve your quality of life.

Overcoming Obesity Bias

Weight bias involves holding negative attitudes, beliefs, or stereotypes about people based on their weight, which can lead to unfair treatment and discrimination. It can be obvious or subtle and happen anywhere, such as at work or school, in healthcare, in the media, or even within personal relationships.

Overcoming bias requires personal effort and societal change. If you’re experiencing weight bias from loved ones, it’s important to let them know that their words or actions are hurtful and unfair. Here are ways to fight stigma and advocate for fairness.

1. Educate Yourself and Others

Understanding the science behind a heavier weight is a major step toward building resilience and promoting compassion. Sharing evidence-based information with others not only fights misinformation but also fosters a culture of empathy and inclusion. By addressing weight-related myths and educating those around you, you can inspire more compassionate conversations and improve the well-being of everyone involved.

2. Advocate for Fair Treatment

Weight bias is widespread. Speaking up about unfair treatment in healthcare, workplaces, and social settings can help lead to meaningful change. Whether through personal conversations, written complaints, or public advocacy, challenging bias encourages inclusivity and reduces stigma. By speaking out when you encounter weight bias, you can help create interventions that improve self-esteem, quality of life, and access to physical health resources for everyone.

3. Gain Confidence in Healthcare Interactions

Many higher-weight people feel judged or dismissed by health professionals, which can negatively affect their care. If you’ve faced weight bias or judgment in healthcare settings, building confidence can help you advocate for yourself. Ebony’s story highlights the importance of speaking up — she learned to communicate her needs clearly and focus on her quality of life and well-being. When meeting with healthcare providers, prepare questions in advance and consider bringing a trusted support person. Seek out doctors who emphasize compassionate, evidence-based care, which is especially important when managing chronic diseases.

Ebony’s Message to Others

For people dealing with the emotional impact of weight stigma, Ebony offers this advice: “You can do this.” Her journey shows that resilience isn’t about avoiding challenges — it’s about facing them with courage and determination. She encourages others to actively address weight-related concerns and not be defined by others. By finding ways to improve body image and quality of life, you can take meaningful steps that support your well-being.

Ebony’s story offers inspiration for building resilience, practicing self-advocacy, and embracing self-compassion. Support groups and online forums offer safe spaces to share experiences, connect with others, and find encouragement. These communities can help improve self-esteem, support adolescents and adults, and foster a sense of belonging and being valued.

Talk With Others Who Understand

MyObesityTeam is the social network for people with obesity and their loved ones. On MyObesityTeam, more than 55,000 members come together to ask questions, give advice, and share their stories with others who understand life with a higher body weight.

Have you experienced weight bias? Are you looking for ways to improve your self-esteem and well-being? Share your comments below, or start a conversation by posting on your Activities page.