If a doctor expresses concern about your child’s weight, know that you aren’t alone. According to the National Institutes of Health, about 16 percent of children between ages 2 and 19 are considered overweight, and nearly 20 percent are considered to have obesity. This means that many other parents are in your shoes.

Note that the medical term “obese” refers to having a body mass index (BMI) score of 30 or higher. This measure of height and weight doesn’t always align with health. A perfectly healthy child may have a higher BMI.

This article discusses key facts about childhood obesity and offers seven tips to help your child develop a healthy relationship with their body.

Health Effects of Child Obesity

Understanding a child’s weight can be important in supporting their health. Help them develop healthy habits, such as sleeping well, eating balanced meals, staying active, and enjoying positive relationships with friends and family. These habits can help protect a child’s health, no matter their size. However, carrying extra weight as a child may increase the risk of facing health challenges later in life, such as:

• High cholesterol
• Type 2 diabetes
• Joint pain
• Fat buildup in the liver
• Breathing trouble
• High blood pressure
• Sleep issues, including sleep apnea
• Early puberty
• Gallbladder problems
• Fertility or menstrual concerns

About 20 percent of children between ages 2 and 19 are considered to have obesity, according to the National Institutes of Health.

Obesity is also connected to mental health issues like eating disorders, depression, low self-esteem, and substance abuse, as well as unfair treatment or biases in medical care.

Influences on Children’s Weight

Many factors can contribute to a child’s weight. Some of these include:

• Genetics
• Home or school environment
• Access to nutritious foods
• Sleep habits
• Amount of physical activity
• Diet
• Certain health conditions or medications

Supporting your child now can help them learn about their body and what it needs to stay healthy. By building these habits early, they may have an easier time maintaining their health and avoiding weight challenges throughout their life.

Several members of MyObesityTeam have shared their experiences from childhood. One said, “I’ve also been overweight since childhood and need to lose 100-plus pounds. It’s a real struggle.”

“I’ve been obese since childhood too,” another member added. “Started getting chubby at 7 … obese at 10 … lost a bit of weight at 11 … 265 pounds at 13.”

7 Tips for Supporting Your Child

You can take many steps to help and support your child if they have unhealthy lifestyle habits or their doctor wants them to lose weight. The following seven tips reflect some of the most effective approaches.

1. Talk to Your Child’s Doctor

Before making any changes, check with your child’s pediatrician and, if you choose, a registered dietitian. Losing weight too fast can cause health problems, and it’s important to avoid methods that aren’t shown to work. A pediatric specialist will be aware of the latest research and can help create a plan that fits your child’s needs. Often, simply maintaining their current weight is enough, as they’re still growing taller. The focus should be on healthy habits like nutritious food choices, regular activity, and good sleep, rather than the number on the scale.

This can be a sensitive topic to discuss in front of your child, so you might want to have the conversation without your child present.

2. Find Nutritious Foods Your Child Loves

If you or a healthcare professional think that food choices might affect your child’s weight, help your child realize that healthy food can be delicious. Try including more fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and unprocessed lean protein in their meals, and encourage drinking water instead of sugary drinks. Focus on making these changes feel fun and positive so that your child doesn’t feel like they’re missing out on treats.

Focus on outcomes around building healthy habits, such as discovering a love for strawberries or the ability to walk farther than before.

It’s also important to teach your child that no food is “bad” or completely off-limits. Instead, help them learn balance by introducing the idea of “always foods” and “sometimes foods.” For example, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains are “always foods” that help their body grow and stay strong. Foods like sweets or chips can be referred to as “sometimes foods” to savor occasionally, such as during celebrations or family meals. This way, your child can understand which foods fuel their body versus which are meant for special treats. Together, you and your child can explore new recipes to help them find meals and healthy snacks they enjoy.

3. Limit Your Child’s Screen Time

Higher amounts of screen time are linked with higher body weight in children. If this is an issue in your home, try setting limits for your child (and maybe for yourself!). Start with simple changes, like making mealtimes screen-free, avoiding screens during homework (unless assignments require them), and turning off TVs or shutting down video games when not in use. Your child might push back at first, but these limits can encourage them to spend their time differently. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends less than two hours of recreational screen time per day for school-aged children.

4. Encourage Regular Exercise

Regular physical activity is essential for kids of all ages and should include three types of exercise:

• Aerobic activity — Also known as cardio, these important activities strengthen the heart and lungs. Examples include running, biking, or playing soccer.
• Impact activity — This type of movement helps build strong bones, which is especially crucial during the preteen and teen years. Activities like jumping, dancing, or playing basketball are great options.
• Strength training — Muscle-building exercises, which may involve weights, should only be done once your child has learned proper form, usually in high school. Body-weight exercises like push-ups or using resistance bands can be good starting points.

The best type of activity is one your child enjoys and wants to keep doing. If getting started feels overwhelming, focus on small, fun steps to be more active together. Take regular walks or bike rides, visit a park and play with the dog, or find a sport they like and consider joining a team or practicing together. Even walking or biking to nearby destinations instead of driving can make a difference. Finding ways to be more active together as a family may lead to long-term healthy lifestyle habits for everyone.

5. Help Foster Good Sleep Habits

Getting good sleep helps kids regulate their body weight and overall health. Middle and high schoolers need at least eight hours of sleep each night, while younger kids require even more — up to 16 hours a day for babies.

Middle and high schoolers need at least eight hours of sleep each night, while younger kids require even more.

If your child isn’t getting enough sleep, make a plan to improve their sleep routine. This might include removing electronics from their bedroom so it’s a calm place to fall asleep and adjusting schedules for an earlier bedtime. If any sleep problems continue, talk to their pediatrician. An underlying health issue may be keeping your child from getting a good night’s sleep.

6. Set Goals That Are Realistic, Not About a Number

If your child’s weight is higher than their doctor recommends, it’s easy to fixate on a number on the scale. However, this might not be the most helpful approach. Instead, guide your child toward goals centered on healthy habits, such as healthy eating and regular exercise. Involve them in creating a plan — they’re more likely to stick with it if they feel part of the process.

Track their progress and note any changes you see, like the fact that they’ve found out they love strawberries or can walk farther than they could before. These are all wins!

It’s normal for these changes to feel easier at some times and harder at others. Stressful periods, such as holidays or major changes at home, can make it harder to stick to healthy habits. That’s OK and expected. Reach out to a supportive friend or your child’s healthcare team for guidance to get back on track.

Setting realistic goals and not just focusing on weight helps your child learn to prioritize their overall health and mental well-being. One MyObesityTeam member who understands this shared, “I have been obese since childhood, and I don’t really expect to ever be thin, but I want to get to a weight that improves my health and doesn’t hold me back from enjoying life to the fullest.”

7. Focus on the Positive

Try to keep the process positive. Focusing on the negatives won’t support your child’s physical and mental health in the long term. Here are some tips to foster lasting habits:

• Promote a positive body image, no matter your child’s size, and be mindful of how you talk about your own body or others’, especially when your child is present.
• Celebrate every step forward.
• Teach your child to pay attention to their body and recognize signals for hunger, fullness, and energy levels.
• Involve the whole family in making healthy lifestyle changes so that your child doesn’t feel singled out.
• Make changes gradually so that they’re less overwhelming and easier to adopt.

These approaches can help your child with weight management and set them up for a lifetime of healthy habits.

Talk With Others Who Understand

MyObesityTeam is the social network for people with obesity and their loved ones. On MyObesityTeam, more than 55,000 members come together to ask questions, give advice, and share their stories with others who understand life with obesity.

Has your child been diagnosed with obesity? Do you have any tips or tricks you think others should know? Share your experience in the comments below, or start a conversation by posting on your Activities page.